ME-as I go through this zany, marvelous, difficult experience called: "LIFE"!

I was going through some of my past writings and I happened to find what I wrote on April 15, 2013. The Boston Marthon of 2013 has been on my mind for sometime! This is what I wrote on that frightful night of The Boston Marathon: Monday, April 15, 2013 Dear God, Evil has invaded my home, my country. I hold my hands out to You, Lord, praying not to feel scared, unsafe, insecure tonight. As I my hands go so high, I feel t hey reach Heaven. I don't need to tell God how big this evil is which invaded me, my home my country is. I have to tell Everyone my God is Bigger and His Goodness Will Prevail! God will shine through and overcome what evil happened today. Praise The Lord!                                                                                        ...

It's The First Day of Spring! YEAH! Now if the weather would only co-operate and the sun would come out! Then it would be like,a real Spring, a Spring that has been so, so long overdue! This comes to my mind: I got up this morning. I have more than enough to eat. I have friends, family and lots of love in my life! I have doctors, nurses and people to help me in acu te health situations and even those situations that aren't acute. It could be snowing, raining, or ANY kind of weather situation that Mother Nature could throw at me and I have all my needs met. God has blessed me abundantly. I'm not saying my life is perfect. It's not perfect or even close to it! I just look at it from this perspective. I maybe get into the wants but, I have all I need! The sun may or may not come out today, this 1st day of Spring. I have something better though. God has put the sun in my heart for all times, like forever! Love, Evelyn

It's hard for me to stay in my seat and be quiet through a movie in a movie theater and I'm an adult! I have special needs, including ADHD, and I can imagine how even more difficult it would be for a child who has special needs. Sure, going to a movie at a movie theater is expensive but, I don't care if the movie cost a million dollars, it is still NOT right to throw verbal insults at anyone, especially, a child! Movie theater rented for those with special needs

Yesteryear! It was a different time filled with people I desparately miss! These memories at times comfort me. They comfort me in a way that God gave me this time with people I loved!. It was also a time when a lot was different, people we re different, my family was different, the world was different. I'm not saying today is bad, just different! Well, today, it's time for me to change because the world is not going to ever go back to yesteryear. People are either gone from my life or, as I said, different! I have to cannot expect yesteryears world anymore! I have to live (and realize) today is the world I live in, not yesterday's world! Well, world of today, I'm living now and I'm ready for you!

I haven't got a lot to say but, what I want to say is a praise to My Lord! Thank you, God for today! I got up this morning, in pain, yes, but I got up! I have hope today! I have faith. faith that things wil turn out the way they're supposed to! Things may go right and/or go wrong today but, it still is going to be a good day today! Why? I have Jesus in my heart today, that's why! Love and Prayers, Evelyn

I try to be positive! I try to look om the bright side! I really do! It's difficult because I'm sick! I don't feel me and I'm tired! It's not going to solve anything by saying that there are people worse off than me.. No, that would just make things worse! Please, just acknowledge how I feel, be there for me, and let me sleep! 

March 27  near  Somerville, MA I wonder how the people are, whom I loved and have lost contact with through time? I wonder about these people, a lot! You see, at a different time in my life, they were a huge part of how I lived life then. I wonder how these people, who were my best friends, are. A few are no longer with us. It hurts that I never said good-bye to Juan. It hurts that I grieve ove r that time in my life but, I don't t really miss it. I do miss those people, who were my friends. To this day,I keep them in prayer. I know this! I do grieve over preciouse time taken away from loved ones I could have been with then and can never be with again. I don't grieve for very long because I know God had His reasons for putting me in those places and for living the life I had years ago.. There were stuff I had to experiece and people I had to meet to make me the person I am now! I still wonder! Love, Evelyn

What I said to a person who came to me with gossip about me: Really? Seiously? If they're talking about me, I want to hear it with excitement! Please make this talk about me with thrills and make it grandious! Could you say it with much more emphasis so to keep me interested! (I'm not really interestd and I really hate gossip)! Evelyn

Did anyone notice how when it rains, the air feels so fresh? I have always been facinated by the rain! I love how it sounds, how it feels and how it smells! I am gently put to sleep by the melody of the rain! I can't think of a bedter bedtime lullaby? God Is Always Good! Love and Prayers, Evelyn

Ev elyn I am in the hospital (again)! It gets so frustrating for me to go back in a lot, so very frustrating and depressing! The peope are very nice, who work at the hospital I go to, and very compassionate! I am tired, though! I am sick and tired of being sick and tired! Now, that I had my pity party, I can now talk, ME talk. I can communicae the way I real am! I have an infection that needs the administ ering of IV antibiotics. I also have come to the hospital with other worrisome medical stuff that needs medical attention! Please pray that I get better soon and that I keep a positive attitude! I know God has reasons for me to go through all of this! Please pray, that even here, at this hospital, I can show God's love. Thank you for all your prayers, Love, Evelyn

Evelyn Pinto 23 hours ago  near  Somerville, MA I don't know what my future will bring. I was starting to become a prisoner in my own mind. I've been having difficulty with my breathing and my lungs are not the healthiest in the world! I hurt a lot, especially with these pains my chest, . That's when I think too much. I was honestly thinking about how my death would be! That's when I flee from going into t hat prisoner of a future that may never even happen! Though my life, a lot of times, has physical pain and my lungs are compromised (I have a lung disease and use oxygen) I want to LIVE today! I want to be an active participant in this moment. I want to do accomplish my dreams, do what many people thimk I can't! I want to do more than I can! I still want those days of walking in the rain, smelling it and feeling the rain touch my face! I still want to be awed as I watch thunder and lightning storms! I like watch snowflakes touch my nose and mout...

I’m grieving the loss of a child. I haven’t lost a child but, I’m grieving that loss of a child (and children) I never had.  It seems to me, I’ve missed from my life what so many women I know have. It would seem miraculous to me feeling another heart beat inside of me. The joy I would feel having a baby grow in my own body. I would have loved to go through the joy of painful childbirth. When my friends and other woman I know boast about their children and grandchildren, I just quiver. I know I don’t have anything as wonderful or amazing as their children to talk about I then ask myself (as I have asked myself zillions of times) “Why didn’t I have children when I could”?  Then blame and anger, anger at myself, set in. It feels worse for me seeing pictures of babies. At these times, I fix my eyes to the heavens  as if I’ve come to the face of God and cry out, “Why God?” “What purpose was there to make me childless when you KNOW my deep love for children?”...

As I get older (and I hope wiser) I see my life in a different light. In my younger days, I had dreams. I accustomed my life with what everyone else thought my life should be. I really tried (and studied reletlnessly) to be the doctor. I messed up when I tried to become what everyone wanted,needed and thought I should be. I lost out being the person who was right for me. There were points in my life where I wondered: "Who am I ?" Am I what I want to be or a person who at differet points in my life what everyone expected me to be? I'm older and now and I am wiser. I realize now, what was meant to be, was meant to be. Though, I really, really wanted to become a doctor, it wasn't meant to be. Though I wanted to be married to someone who would be there for me, as I would be there for him and have many, many children, it wasn't meant to be. The not having chldren part really hurts. Everyone who knows me, kows my genuine love for children. I kow God has (always has) p...

I look out at this gosh awful winter and feel this freezing cold. I then begin to wish for other more comfortable weather. Then  I remember...God gave me this day. I woke up to day, in pain-yes but, I woke up and saw the sun today! I have so very much to be grateful for. God has truly blessed me so very abundantly! I may not have lots of money or expensive items but, I'm richer than most people! My health may not be great and I'm sick a lot but, I make friends wherever I go! My family may not always give me everything I want but, they love me lots! They're very much there for me and give what I need! My friends and I may never go out o the town but t hey're also there for me and I know I can depend on them! I may be alone more than I want to but, I really not alone because wherever I am, Jesus is! You see, I can rejoice and be glad and I can praise My Lord! Thanks Be To God!       Evelyn