LIFE AND DEATH THINKING, IN THE HOSPITAL 6-3-19

I finished those IV antibiotics for the infection while still here, in the hospital, yesterday.

With fear, apprehension and thoughts in my head of my life and my death, I did get through my Colonoscopy today.

With tears on my face and exhaustion wiping through my body, I raise my head to the Heavens and give thanks to God!

I have survived the 63 years I’ve been alive.

Waiting for that Colonoscopy, many of my past memories, that I thought were forgotten, came around to haunt me.

This frightened me even more as I wondered: “Would this be my last day on Earth?”

I know that was silly of me but, being sick and in the hospital + not feeling well because of this illness that bought me into the hospital, these inane ideas seemed perfectly logical at the time.

I will attempt to live, really live my life, and push back those dark memories that keep me hostage.

For me, living with serious, life threatening medical conditions that, many times, require the acute care of the hospital, forgetting will not be easy, nearly impossible.

Tomorrow, the plan is to be discharged from the hospital and go home.

There, I will be with my friends, a welcome distraction from the hand that deteriorating health has dealt me.

I am blessed though!

I have much love in my life, which I am grateful to God for.

I have had many people praying, even some kind souls I don’t know.

So, I will leave the hospital for home tomorrow.

I will go, thanking the wonderful, amazing doctors, nurses, hospital chaplains, respiratory therapists, primary care associates and all of the many hospital staff who have taken exceptional care of me!

I will also leave the hospital to go home with gratitude for the many, good people that God has put in my life.

I have love in my heart for God and all those kind, compassionate people I’m blessed to share my life with.

Gosh, it’s been a long, exhausting day!

    Evelyn Pinto

    June 3, 2019