THE PROMISE 1-25-15

                                                                          

                                 THE PROMISE

Seven o’clock that night, I made a promise to myself and to God, that no matter how bad things got for me (and it has gotten really bad at times), I would never end my life.

It happened so fast. In a place of protection. (It was a false protection). I heard Julia jump out the window. I saw HOPE fly out the window as well.

I saw people, people who always knew what to do, did not know that night.

We were all in Frantic City.

I looked out that window. I saw Julia, laying on the ground, 4 stories down, drenched in her own blood.

I saw Death visit and just walk away.

I cried for help through the confusion, help for Julia.

I saw the eyes of burnt out people, people of protection, asking me what to do. GET HELP, GET HELP,  I cried out again and again and again!

I glanced and saw the souls of people, people like me, cry out lost souls, like me, were searching for comfort, stability, love, safety and security, which were lost to everyone from that night on.

People who had nothing to do with Julia’s pain felt overwhelming pain and helplessness.

Julia lay in that bed, in that room, in that psychiatric unit, in that hospital for a year, approximately 30 years ago.

I guess it was to remind them over and over again how much they screwed up!

                                         Evelyn Pinto

                                        January 25, 2015