PLEADING AND PRAYING FOR GOD'S PROTECTION 1-31-17

I was having a rough time last night, a meltdown.

All the defenses and strengths I had built up for years came crashing down.

Consciously unaware, this meltdown had been building up in me.

It was the actions of this now president that ignited this hell.

It was as if I was reliving those hellish days of my past.

At the same time, I was somewhere beyond frightened, fearful that the past was happening again to me and to others whom I dearly love.

I was in a state of certain fear that harm would come to me and to others I care about.

I cried and prayed and prayed and cried and cried some more.

I was unstable and felt overwhelmed with debilitating fear and anxiety!

I survived through parts of my past, just survived.

My brother was murdered in a hate crime. He was beat up strangled and tossed in a dumpster.

It was over 21 years ago.

His murderers were never brought to justice or even pursued.

It took years before I dealt with his murder and years more before I came to peace with it.

Parts of my past were times in which women I knew had unsafe abortions, put wire coat hangers up their private parts, and jumped off roofs and cliffs.

The fear in me increased as I pondered what would happen to women today.

I never heard or know of a women who got an abortion out of convenience for her.

There’s an overload of pain and guilt and feelings with this decision.

I also, grew up, being bullied relentlessly through school, because my thought processes was different.

I had absolutely no interest in following the crowd or doing what most kids were doing.

I was bullied merciless for this also.

In later years, I was diagnosed with ADHD, in which the testing psychologist had said, with certainty, that I also had ADHD as a child.

Yes, I’m reliving my past in which I thought I dealt with and let go years ago.

I prayed and prayed and also prayed with friends yesterday.

Please God, I begged, through the tears, protect all people, especially in this country.

Please, Lord, protect our children, our seniors, all of us living with disabilities and all those compassionate souls who risk everything to protect help others.

Protect us, God, against tyrants, war criminals and from those who wish to bring us back to a past that was harmful to so, so many.

God, please help me and those harmed by those decisions of those running our government.

Please, God, protect against us against those, foreign and domestic, who want to do harm to us.

With tears still in my eyes and prayers on my lips, sleep came to me,

                                      Evelyn Pinto

                                      January 31, 2017