A TALK WITH MYSELF 7-15-17

Being sick totally craps, totally!

I am here, in my apartment with another respiratory issue, calming myself by listening to music.

Oh, I long for some form of human contact.

It is what it is…

I’m sick and I’m tired!

It’s not just a physical tired but, so tired of being sick!

I ask the questions of myself and of God…

Why am I sick a lot?

Why am I, at 61 years of age, living in an assisted living?

Why do people question my credibility when I know things to be true?

Why am I treated like I’m crazy when I so definitely have all my marbles?

My emotions, like most people scatter all over the place when I am sick.

God, who knows me so well, knows my heart and recognizes when it is broken.

“One thing at a time”, I hear in my head.

“One question at a time.”

I usually don’t like to think about the sickness that plagues my body.

From COPD, asthma, congestive heart failure, venous insufficiency, Igg insufficiency are just some of the illnesses that limit what I can and can’t do.

This is when I usually have a talk with myself.

Sure I, like most people, don’t like being sick.

I live in my own apt but, I live in a community among friends.

Sure I wish my family and other people could visit more.

Sure I wish I didn’t have to ask, especially my family, for the necessities that I need.

(Anyone that lives, or knows someone that lives in an assisted living knows, after rent and other bills, there’s little to nothing to live on).

I go on and I thank God for what I do have.

I have life!

I have so much love in my life.

I have a computer in which I can reach others.

I have so many wonderful people in my life.

Though sick a lot and at really difficult times, I have to spend days in the hospital.

I go on though, by the grace of God, I go on, usually happier!

I have God in my life and I am under His protection.

I do bounce back from these difficult times.

As I now, bow my head, I give thanks to God for all the blessings He has bestowed on me.

With sincerity, love, prayers and gracious gratitude,

                             Evelyn Pinto

                            July 15, 2017