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Today it's hard for me to be positive. There  is so  much pain in my life, pain in me and pain in the lives of people I love. I am searching for that joy I used to have, the childlike appreciation I had for life. Most of all I want that innocence back. I used to trust everyone who said they were there for me, everyone who who said they would help me. I used to believe everyone who said "this" would help me. I had that innocence, that delusion that everyone was good. I want to believe that so much. I want good in my life. Even in my pain, I want good to prevail. I want to always bring out that good in everyone/everything. I don/t want to see bad anymore. I don't want people to hurt me. I don't want to hurt.

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